Thoughts on Love and Friendship

This essay that you are about to read was written by Jerome for our CE program titled “The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis”. I was deeply impressed and inspired by it, so I asked him if I could share it on my blog, and thankfully he agreed! May we always be the “friend that loveth at all times”.

One of the purest and most enduring forms of love exists in friendship. The true love of friendship is not driven by possession or expectations, but by mutual understandings, trust, and truly wanting the best for a person. At its root, friendship is built on acceptance. True love in friendship sees one another clearly, including flaws and imperfections. This acceptance creates a space where we can be honest without fear of judgement. True love in friendship allows people to be themselves unguarded and genuine. It’s not a friendship founded on obligation or convenience but on a deep, almost spiritual, loyalty. My closest friend and I made a pact early on in our relationship. We agreed to never speak ill of one another at anytime, anyplace, to anybody. Then we looked each other in the eye and shook hands. That loyalty should not be taken for granted with our church brothers and sisters, but I am often guilty of losing sight of True Love in Friendships. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 18:24 states, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Another defining feature of love in friendship is a quiet generosity. Friends give of their time, attention, and care without keeping score. True friends stop by and sit with you on your tailgate or your couch while you fold laundry. You can laugh together or just sit in silence, and when you part ways your cup is overflowing and you have courage to move forward. Real friendships never, never, need drama to survive but often encourages growth with unspoken words. True friends may go years without speaking daily yet their bond remains intact because its rooted in genuine care. This freedom makes friendship resilient, capable of surviving our busy lives and differing circumstances. I’m often amazed at some of Sara’s friendships where weeks if not months pass before Whatsapps are replied to. My closing thought is of a statement I heard a long time ago but think of often, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” When I think of that thought I often relate it with the spiritual realm, but I do believe it’s relevant with every part of our lives: hobbies, occupations, physical health, spiritual health, etc. Let’s not forget to be a friend. Let’s not forget to love.

Written by Jerome Koehn